Staring at the checkout page having read all the information and signed the waivers for the Paris marathon. Finger hovering over the trackpad ready to press the ‘submit’ button. I feel so nervous that my stomach is in knots. I can’t decide if I want to laugh or cry.
I want to cry. I think I want to cry.
Signing up has been a task I’ve successfully avoided all week, but I’m not sure why. Since having this stupid idea over a cider in the pub it hasn’t left my head. Secretly, I was hoping that the perfect excuse would land on my lap. The type of excuse that makes you look like you mean well, but are secretly glad you can’t do the thing that’s scary. It didn’t arrive.
Button clicked. Sign up complete.
Bank account £100 lighter, I headed to the yoga matt for some meditation and to begin processing what I’d done. That’s when I realised the biggest shift in my attitude since I started running, I’ve stopped making excuses. Here’s how the old me would’ve handled the marathon decision.
“I go on holiday four days after the event so I can’t go to Paris, you know, because of holidays?!”
“I’ve only got five months to train. I planned to do a marathon in December 2020, so I shouldn’t go to Paris because that’s not long enough.”
“Training over winter is going to be so hard. I’ll do a marathon later in the year so I can prepare in the spring/summer.”
“I need to complete a few more half marathons before taking on the full thing.”
Half baked excuses that I could mould into something legitimate enough for me to feel validated about not signing up.
Here’s how I see it now.
“This is perfect. I have 5 months to train with a group of great people who’ll keep me motivated over the winter months. I’ve ran a half marathon and I already have 3 more in the diary before Paris. I don’t need more, I just need to do these ones well and work them into my plan. Then, I can go on holiday four days after with a feeling of huge achievement.”
Amazing what a bit of time reframing your thoughts can do.
It’s going to be hard, but I’m so ready for this. Let’s go!